The Definition of Normal
by ArtemisMoon
Summary: I/K S/M Though Kagome firmly believes that she doesn't need a man to be happy, her grandfather won't stop setting her up with men! So when one of his matchmaking 'attempts' decides that he's going to stick around, how will Kagome ever get rid of him?
1. Life's Little Speed Bumps

**Full Summary: **

**Trapped into a life that she doesn't really want because of obligation to her family, Kagome resigns herself to having a boring life taking care of the shrine. Feeling guilty and responsible for his granddaughter's happiness, her grandfather tries to help her in the only way he can think of: by finding her a man! Annoyed by his disastrous matchmaking attempts and determined to prove that she doesn't need a man to be happy, Kagome is horrified when one of the 'attempts' decides that he is going to stick around whether she likes it or not (for reasons of his own). How in the world will Kagome ever manage to get rid of him? **

Disclaimer: Don't you ever get tired of having to say you don't own Inuyasha, when you really wish you did? Me too! Why don't we go against the system, and say something else for a change? We should get to say what we wanna say and forget the consequences! Are you with me?

::Dead silence::

Uh, hello? Is anyone out there? Aw, you guys are no fun...

* * *

**The Definition of Normal**  
Chapter One

"Ten, nine, eight, seven..." Kagome counted out loud, staring at the ground around the hem of her traditional shrine clothing. As she counted, the scraping sound of a broom against stone kept time with her voice as she did her morning chore of sweeping the steps. She seemed to be waiting for something in particular to happen. "...three, two, one..."

Just after her voice called out the final number, a sudden, mysterious projectile went flying close by her head and crashed into a nearby tree. Any normal person should have been at least startled by the close call, but Kagome didn't even blink at the near concussion. Instead, she calmly waved and smiled at the paperboy standing at the bottom of the shrine steps before moving to collect the now slightly damaged morning paper. That kid had a really great throwing arm for his age. But then, he was probably a youkai, which would explain it.

"On time, as always." She sighed, shaking her head.

Trying to ignore the pathetic feeling she was getting for knowing the paperboy's habits down to the exact second that he would arrive, Kagome walked towards the house once she safely had the paper in hand.

* * *

"Oh, you brought me the paper! How kind of you!"

As soon as Kagome entered the house, a greedy hand attempted to snatch the newspaper away from her.

"Yeah, right!" In response to the attempted thievery, Kagome stuck the paper in the front of her robes and smirked as she continued on towards the kitchen. "You know this paper is for Grandpa, not you. So hands off!"

Attempting to look his most pitiful, Miroku followed Kagome into the kitchen and watched as she placed an apron over her clothes and started making breakfast for her family. He was hoping that she would need to put the paper down at some point, but his chances were looking slim as she seemed perfectly capable of cooking with the unnatural bulge in the front of her clothing.

For once he was eyeing her chest for some reason other than to stare at her breasts.

"Can I at least have one section?" He attempted a compromise.

"No."

"Kagome!"

"Miroku!" She mimicked, annoyed with his whining but not backing down. "You know I'm not going to let you touch this paper! The last time I let you get your hands on it before Grandpa could read it, he lectured me about disrespecting the elderly for days!" She huffed, the air from her mouth causing her bangs to ruffle. "I'd rather not suffer through that again, thank you."

Miroku's face brightened at the memory. "Ah, I remember that! After he lectured us all on proper respect and manners, he fought with me over the paper and we ended up ripping it in half. He wanted that delectable picture just as much as I did..." He trailed off, thinking of the photo they had been fighting over. It had featured a group of high school girls wearing some of the most revealing uniforms he had ever seen as they proudly sported a trophy over their heads for some unimportant accomplishment or another. Miroku might have found out what the trophy was for, had he bothered to actually read the accompanying article.

Kagome just groaned in response, not really caring to be reminded of how dysfunctional her family – as well as her free-loading friends - could be.

While Miroku was still lost in his fantasies of school girls in skimpy uniforms, Kagome's grandfather entered the room followed by Kagome's mother. Souta was obviously running late again.

"Miroku, what are you doing here so early?" The lady of the household glanced in surprise at the young man in question, who was currently watching Kagome hand her grandfather his newspaper with a forlorn gaze. No one batted an eyelash at the fact that Kagome had to reach down behind the front of her apron to get it.

"I'm not really here all that early, Mitsuki-san" he replied, looking sheepish "since I never actually left."

"Ah, I should have guessed." Kagome's mother nodded as if Miroku hanging around their house all night was a common occurrence. Actually, it was...

"Why can't you hang around your own home for a while and leave us alone?" Kagome's grandfather complained as he sat down with his paper. "I'm sure your father has plenty of chores you could be doing around his temple, so why do you insist on working here instead of there?"

Miroku smiled and helped himself to a sample of what Kagome was cooking, barely escaping getting his hand smacked. "There are so many advantages to working here instead of my family's temple! I get the benefit of your great wisdom, Tomita-san, as well as the healthy family environment that I so sadly missed as a child."

Kagome snorted. "You left out the fact that we get more attractive foreign female tourists here."

Miroku nodded seriously. "That too, of course. How could I possibly forget?"

Sighing, Kagome once again cursed her family's propensity to meddle in her life. If it weren't for them, she wouldn't have to deal with Miroku every waking moment of her miserable existence. If it weren't for them, she never would have even MET Miroku in the first place!

It had all started because Kagome's family was - well, to put it bluntly - dirt poor. Between the income of the shrine and her mother's job as a secretary for a small local business, they managed to keep themselves going, but that was about all. Mostly because keeping up the shrine took almost as much money as they earned from it just to keep it running. It was so old that they were constantly making repairs.

But as much of a hassle as the shrine was, they just couldn't bring themselves to get rid of it. After all, it was practically a part of the family in its own way.

Because of their tight financial situation, however, Kagome couldn't go to college. Even if she could have earned some sort of scholarship, that would have left no one able to look after the shrine and help her grandfather. He was just too old to do it on his own anymore, and they couldn't afford competent, full-time help. All they could afford was Miroku, who worked when needed to help Kagome out with some of the more difficult tasks that she couldn't do on her own, and took his payment in food and the right to free-load as much as he could possibly get away with.

But his helping around the shrine wasn't originally why he was introduced to Kagome. No, he'd been brought into her life by the greatest of all horrors...A blind date set up by her grandfather.

Kagome grimaced at the memory of that disastrous date, giving Miroku's hand a particularly vicious slap when he tried to steal another bite of food as she was cooking.

"My, someone seems to be in a bad mood today." He stepped back to a safe distance and gave her a questioning look, his eyes glowing with a humor that his serious facial expression didn't mirror. "Is someone experiencing a bit of sexual frustration, perhaps? What kind of dreams did you have last night?"

"Wh-what?!?!? You - I mean, I w-wasn't-" Kagome was spluttering in denial and severe embarrassment, while her mother had a very suspicious coughing fit behind her hand and her grandfather was turning so red he looked as if he were about to explode.

Before anything else could be said, though, Souta suddenly came running into the room with a harried expression and officially ended the inappropriate conversation before it could really begin.

"Good morning!" He cried, snatching the back of one of the chairs and pulling it out with a jerk, nearly making it topple over. Everyone watched with amusement as he started to inhale the food Kagome placed in front of him.

"Over-sleep again, Souta?" His mother shook her head. "You need to stop staying up so late every night. Studying is important, but-"

"But I need to study, mom! If I don't, I won't be able to get into a good school and then one day I'll end up like Miroku, living off my girlfriend's family!" His eyes suddenly widened, and he gave the older boy a guilty look, not having noticed he was in the room previously. "Uh, what I meant was-"

"I am NOT his girlfriend!" Kagome shouted, pointing a chopstick at her brother and cutting him off before he could backtrack and attempt to make amends. "As if I'd ever date someone like him!"

Souta blinked. "But you DID date him!"

"Yeah, ONCE. But did you ever see me go out with him again?"

"Well, no..." He looked unsure. "So, if you guys aren't dating, then why is he still hanging around and groping you all the time?"

Kagome gave Miroku a sour look before intentionally turning her back. "Because he won't go away, that's why."

Miroku only looked vaguely offended at the whole discussion, since similar conversations seemed to happen at least once a week as a matter of course. Everyone always debated exactly why he hung around as much as he did, as if Kagome and he were actually having some sort of secret affair that they wouldn't confess to anyone about. No one really believed they were, but it was fun to tease Kagome about it because she always reacted so strongly.

Once everyone was settled at the table with their morning meals in front of the them, the room became quiet as everyone concentrated on their food, and in Kagome's grandfather's case, the morning news. The only sounds that could be heard were the occasional rustling of paper, and Miroku's foot as he tapped it merrily on the floor.

The peace wasn't broken until Souta dashed from his chair and out of the room with a hasty goodbye.

"So..." Mitsuki-san stood up to clear away the dishes belonging to her and her only son. "What does everyone have planned to do today?"

Miroku opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Kagome. "Well, I had thought to clean out the storage room, but since Miroku's here so early today, he can do it!" She turned towards her victim with a smile that would have been completely angelic to anyone who didn't know her well, but Miroku could see the underlying threat. Apparently she was still mad at him over the dream comment. "You will, won't you?"

He gulped nervously. "Ah, of course I will, if you wish it..."

"Great!" The smile suddenly turning sincere (rarely could she stay mad for long), Kagome stood up to finish the dishes so her mother could leave for work. "That means I'll have plenty of time today to work on the budget and ordering supplies. Will you be okay looking after any guests we have, Grandpa?"

The elderly man looked up from his paper. "Huh? Oh, of course! What do you take me for, some old fool who can't do things for himself?"

"Of course not." Kagome hid a smile at her grandfather's attitude by turning back to the sink. "I just thought I would check with you first in case you had any other plans for the day."

"Good!" The old man nodded in satisfaction and sat quietly until everyone finished saying their goodbyes to Mitsuki-san, since she had to head off to work. Once the front door closed and the room was quiet save for the sound the dishes as they were washed and put away, his eyes zeroed in on his granddaughter's back intently. Best to get things over with while Kagome seemed to be in a good mood. "Now, Kagome, before we start work, there's something important that I have wanted to talk to you about for a while now..."

Miroku's eyes widened, and he swiftly turned to stare at a now very still Kagome. Maybe he should run while he had the chance?

If there was anything in the world that was guaranteed to turn even one of Kagome's best moods completely foul, it was those particular words from that particular person in that particular tone of voice. Those were the same words she'd heard from her grandfather just before the last time she'd suffered terrible humiliation, and Miroku knew that anyone who dared to remind her of it was just asking to die.

Thankfully, out of respect for her normally lovable grandfather, Kagome decided to quickly stop him from digging his grave any deeper.

"No! I flat out refuse!" She punctuated her words by slapping a hand in the dirty dishwater.

Miroku stifled a laugh as the elderly shrine keeper's jaw dropped, not used to his beloved granddaughter being so disrespectful. "But Kagome, you haven't even heard what I wanted to say!"

She turned around to glare at him. "I don't need to hear anything, because I'm positive that I know what you'll say. And I'm telling you now that I have no intention of going through with any more of your schemes! So just forget the matter entirely, okay? I'm going to go get the key to the storage room for Miroku."

Suddenly as cheerful as if nothing had been said on the matter, Kagome walked out of the room humming lightly to herself and left Miroku and her grandfather to stare behind her, too afraid to comment with her still within hearing range. As soon as they felt it was safe, though, Miroku leaned over to whisper near the old man's ear. "Do you think she's still just a bit upset that the last blind date you set up for her turned out to be gay?"

An irritated huff was the only response he got.

* * *

Of all the nerve!

Kagome dropped her cheerful facade as soon as she was far enough away from the kitchen that no one would notice, and stormed into her grandfather's small room in the back of the house to get the keys she'd promised to Miroku.

"I can't believe he'd try to set me up on another blind date after what happened last time!" She hissed in a low voice, not talking to anyone in particular. She just felt the need to vent her feelings before heading back into the kitchen so that she wouldn't give in to the urge to rail on her own Grandfather. "He's crazy if he thinks I'll go along with it! Absolutely insane! No one in their right mind would ever even THINK about putting me in a situation like that again!"

Yanking open a small drawer where all the spare keys in the house were kept, Kagome rifled through them until she found the exact set she was looking for. Once they had been pulled out, Kagome took great satisfaction in slamming the drawer closed, knowing both men in the kitchen could probably hear it. Let her Grandfather feel guilty for making her life miserable...

A split second after that last thought, Kagome's anger wilted, and a truck load of guilt moved in to take its place.

'I shouldn't think like that. I know he doesn't really mean to make me so angry or miserable. He's just trying to make up for the burden that he and everyone else feel like they've placed on me by asking me to take over the shrine instead of getting to go to college and follow my dreams like all of my friends from high school.' She hung her head and sighed, feeling worse than ever for her earlier thoughts. 'He seems to think that the least he can do for me since I have no life outside of this shrine is to help me get out and have some fun, and perhaps find me someone to help with the shrine all in one shot.'

She smiled slightly, though it didn't really reach her eyes. "I really shouldn't be so hard on him, I guess, even if he is going about everything completely wrong. I've told everyone over and over that I don't need a man to be happy, but they all swear that's exactly what I need. Find a husband, have some kids...be more like a normal person."

'Honestly, though, I'm getting sick of being told that.' She frowned and fiddled with the keys in her hand, still standing in her grandfather's room. 'I know I'm becoming something of a recluse, hiding in the shrine all the time instead of going out with my friends like I used to, but I can't help it. I don't feel a connection with them anymore. It feels as if they've moved on and left me behind, and it's depressing. Miroku's about the only person my age I hang around with anymore, and that's mostly because he won't go away.'

She knew her family worried about her - a lot. But couldn't they see that she was fine with the way things were? She didn't need her friends to be happy, and she certainly didn't need a man. It's not like he could fix all the problems with her life...well, unless he was rich. But she very much doubted her Grandfather had any connections like that.

She truly smiled in amusement at that thought. No, her grandfather had no connections to anyone that might be able to help her. Just crazy old men like himself that had...interesting grandsons (or son, as was Miroku's situation). And really, the fact that they were available was no surprise at all after meeting them.

Cringing, Kagome once again unwillingly recalled the disaster that was her grandfather's most infamous attempt at setting her up with 'a nice young man.'

It hadn't been the first blind date he'd arranged for her, and one would think that after two or three small disasters, Kagome would have known better than to give in to him again. But her grandfather had an annoying habit if nagging at someone mercilessly until he got what he wanted, and she eventually gave in to him just to shut him up.

That had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Excited that she'd finally agreed, he'd rushed to get in contact with his friend to set up the date with his grandson. It was a bit difficult because the other man was a little hard of hearing, but when all was said and done, they were set to meet the next evening at a small restaurant not far from the shrine.

Now, she knew her grandfather could do some crazy things sometimes, and for the most part she could deal with whatever he dished out. That was just the way her grandfather was, and she'd learned how to deal with him at an early age when he would slap (useless) wards on any new playmate's forehead in an attempt to check for demon blood, or when he would go to her school and tell crazy stories to all the teachers and children, embarrassing her in front of everyone.

But really, nothing could have prepared her for what he'd plotted that day.

Everything had gone fine that evening up until she'd gotten to the restaurant, and she was even a bit nervous after thinking that perhaps, just once, maybe one of her grandfather's schemes might work out. Because even if she swore to everyone over and over that she didn't need a man, that didn't mean that she was totally against the idea. She just didn't want one for any of the wrong reasons. After all, she wasn't some helpless, pathetic girl that needed a man to survive. She could get along perfectly well on her own.

Kagome had ended up there a few minutes early, so she went ahead and sat down to wait for her date to arrive. They knew to expect him, and he was supposed to be brought to her table as soon as he arrived.

Time passed very slowly after that. It was no fun waiting for someone in such situations, because you couldn't help but think about little things that could possibly go wrong. What would he look like? Would he be ugly, cute, so-so? Would he be attracted to her? Would he be a snob, or really weird? The list was endless...

She had gotten so lost in her thoughts while waiting that she didn't notice when someone had walked up to her, or hear the gasp of shock that came from them.

"W-who the HELL are you??? Are YOU my blind date? Are you Higurashi-san?"

Kagome looked up at the surprisingly feminine voice, and began to get nervous as he/she stared at her in horror. "Er...yes..."

"But you're a WOMAN!"

Kagome never thought she'd live down that moment. The man (she'd later learned his name was Jakotsu) had shrieked her gender out in such a horrified voice that the whole restaurant got quiet and had turned to watch the little drama with interest.

She'd never been so humiliated!

Needless to say, she and Jakostu had parted on very poor terms after an extremely heated argument in front of everyone in the room about whose fault the whole mess was. He'd been expecting a man, and she'd been expecting a straight man. It wasn't a match made in heaven, that's for sure.

Later, after calming down and thinking about the whole situation more clearly and 'talking' with her Grandfather, she'd easily figured out what had happened. it was obvious that he'd plotted with his friend to help his poor, confused grandson, by hopefully introducing him to a nice girl that would set him straight...literally.

Kagome had fumed for days after finding that out. How could her grandfather have done something like that to her? It was cruel to set her up for guaranteed failure like that!

Clenching her fist so tightly that the key bit viciously into the palm of her hand, all of Kagome's previous guilt at the way she'd treated her Grandfather earlier vanished. The memory of her embarrassment was still too fresh in her mind for forgiveness quite yet.

"Sorry, Grandpa," Kagome suddenly shouted angrily "But I swear that I will never, EVER go out on another blind date as long as I live! Just see if I don't!"

Her only answer was the sound of hurried footsteps and the slamming of the kitchen door as both men cleared out of the house in fear of her wrath.

Kagome smiled.

* * *

**NOTES:** The names chosen for Kagome's grandfather and mother weren't chosen for any special reason. 'Tomita' was suggested by a friend as a common Japanese male name, and 'Mitsuki' was selected from a list of common Japanese female names I found on the internet, just because it seems to fit her, at least in my opinion. Also, though I'm not planning to use a lot of Japanese words in this story, I will use certain things (honorifics, Inuyasha's 'Keh' and 'Oi', etc.) that I feel the characters just wouldn't sound the same without. And I will also be rather inconsistent with the usage and may interchange them with the English versions, depending on what sounds the best to me.

Okay, first chapter done! I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks! And I know Inuyasha hasn't shown up yet, but don't worry, when it does I can promise it will be worth the wait!


	2. Busybody Men

**NOTES:** Thanks for all the great comments that were left for the first chapter. I love hearing what you think and I hope I am succeeding in making most of you amused.

And just so you know, a lot of setting up goes on in this chapter and probably the next one, so you'll have to wait a little for any major developments to happen. But I promise that all this setting up will make the results that much better!

Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to comment! Encouragement goes a long way towards eradicating chronic procrastination...

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Disclaimer: The rights of the characters from this story all belong to Rumiko Takahashi...I'm just borrowing them and will give them back when I'm done...well, if there is anything left of them when I'm finished. ::Evil laughter::

* * *

**The Definition of Normal**

Chapter Two

"Do you think she's still mad?" Miroku gazed morosely toward the house before sighing and turning to go back into the shed. It was early afternoon, and he was hungry after working so hard all morning in an effort to get back on Kagome's good side. "I can't believe she locked us both out of the house after throwing the keys to the storage building at me through the window. What did I ever do to deserve such cruel treatment?"

The older of the two men looked disgusted. "You? What did YOU do to deserve such treatment?!? What about ME?!? I'm her grandfather, and therefore I deserve much more respect than you do."

"I wasn't the one that set her up with Jakotsu, though. You did that all on your own, Tomita-san." Picking up a decrepit-looking broom that had been leaning against one of the walls, Miroku began sweeping the floor with a downright tragic expression on his face. "I am just an innocent bystander getting punished for the wrong-doing of another!"

"Innocent? Ha! Your father tells me about everything you do, young man, so if you think I'm going to believe that for even a moment-!"

Miroku stopped sweeping and stared at him curiously. "He tells you everything?"

Tomita-san nodded sharply. "Of course he does. We've been friends twice as long as you've been alive!"

"Ohh..." The expression on Miroku's face turned sly. "So if he tells you everything, surely you must know about that time he and I both went to a charming little place not far from here. The women that worked there were SO good at-"

"S-Stop right there!" Tomita-san looked as if he were about to explode, though whether from anger or embarrassment Miroku couldn't tell. "You will not desecrate this shrine by talking of such things on these sacred grounds!"

"What do you mean?" Miroku blinked his eyes innocently. "Is it so bad to talk about women with exceptional cake-baking talents in a Shinto shrine? Because really, I must say that it was the most wonderful cake he and I had ever eaten. But I suppose it's only natural for something so good to be a sin..."

The only response he got was incoherent spluttering.

For a while after that things were peaceful since Miroku's little trick had caused the older man to sulk, and they both worked silently on getting the storage room into good order. The shrine had been unusually quiet that day, so to keep himself busy, Tomita-san had generously offered to help Miroku - by supervising, of course, and not by doing much in the way of actual work.

Oh well, help was help, he supposed.

But just when Miroku was beginning to feel like things were finally going good, and that a job well done would probably earn him dinner and a way back into the house (he didn't want to walk home that night if he could help it), Kagome's grandfather dropped a bomb right on his unsuspecting head.

"Miroku, I've decided that I am going to allow you the great honor of joining me in my endeavor to ensure my only granddaughter's happiness."

"What?!?" Miroku grabbed his chest as if the older man's announcement had caused his heart to stop.

Tomita-san nodded, obviously lost in thought and did not notice Miroku's dramatics. "Yes, I know, that is an excellent idea and I wish I had thought of it sooner. You are her closest friend, after all, and she would be much more likely to listen to you than to me, even if I am her GRANDFATHER." His voice turned sour near the end, showing that he was still bitter about the lack of respect Kagome had shown him that morning.

Miroku laughed nervously. "Really, I don't think that is a very good idea at all, if you don't mind me saying so..."

"Kagome should be thankful I'm so forgiving!" Her grandfather continued on, completely ignoring Miroku. "She's lucky to have someone in her life so concerned with her welfare. Why, most girls would be thrilled to have someone setting up such excellent matches for them!"

Realizing that there was very little chance that the old man could be reasoned with, Miroku started creeping cautiously towards the storage room door.

"Now, this young man I tried to talk to her about earlier has been recommended to me by Kaede-san. You remember her, don't you? I and your father have known her since we were all very young. Ah, those were the days..." His voice drifted off, and he gazed sightlessly at a bare shelf in front of him. "Kaede was in love with me, you know. But she chose not to marry me because Mushin was in love with her just as I was, and she could not bring herself to hurt either of us."

Miroku coughed to cover up a laugh, unable to help himself even if he was drawing unwanted attention and foiling his escape. "I'm sure that was the case, Tomita-san."

As if the sound of Miroku's voice reminded him that he wasn't alone, Kagome's grandfather cleared his throat and became all business once again. "As I was saying, Kaede-san recommended this young man to me highly, and there are few people whose judgment I would trust as much as I trust hers. So I must do everything in my power to give this young man the chance to make my granddaughter happy!" His passionate voice rang out in the small room, making Miroku pause in his attempt to leave.

"Now then," Once he was satisfied that Miroku was paying attention to him, Kagome's grandfather cleared his throat and puffed out his chest in an attempt to appear the leader he felt that he was in this little venture. "Here is the plan I've decided on..."

Intrigued despite himself, Miroku chose to stay and listen to what the older man was saying. He knew such a choice might later be the death of him (even LISTENING to one of her grandfather's crazy schemes was dangerous if Kagome found out about it), but now that he stopped to think about it, who was he to pass up the chance to possibly help his dear friend in need?

Of course, it would all be because of good intentions on his part and nothing else. He wouldn't find any amusement at all in the situation. None what-so-ever...

Really, though, he just couldn't understand Kagome's attitude. What kind of life could one possibly have if they couldn't enjoy certain activities with the opposite sex? It was positively scandalous, how she thought any healthy young woman such as herself could live like that!

He couldn't help but think back to the way she had reacted while on the blind date his father and her grandfather had set up for them...

It had seemed innocent enough in the beginning. Both parties had agreed readily enough to participate in the date, neither having met the other before, and at that point in time Kagome was still unaware of the horror that blind dates could be. Miroku was the first man that her grandfather had chosen to set her up with, and she had no reason to believe that there would be any other such occurrences in the future. After all, in her grandfather's eyes, what could be a better match than his beloved granddaughter and the son of such a close friend? Admittedly, they were from completely different religions and that could pose a problem, but Miroku didn't seem particularly devout to his father's temple, so perhaps he could be swayed.

It had been decided that Miroku would pick Kagome up at the shrine, and that they would go have a light lunch and spend the afternoon together. Nothing much, just a chance to get to know one another.

'I still remember the first time I saw her, standing at the top of the shrine steps and looking absolutely beautiful with her glossy black hair blowing in the breeze...along with that wonderfully short skirt...' A dreamy look over-took Miroku's face. He'd nearly pulled a muscle in his leg in his eagerness to make it to the top step where she was standing.

At first the pair had hit it off quite well, with Miroku behaving himself admirably during lunch and acting as charming as he possibly could. And he did a good job, too, because the amount of charm he poured on was enough to cause almost any woman to fall in love with him, and Kagome had very nearly fallen under his spell.

Miroku sighed pitifully. He had been SO close!

The moment that all his earlier success had ended up crashing down around him had occurred while the pair had been walking back to the shrine in the dusk of early evening...

&

_Miroku nearly laughed out loud with glee, and had to fight the urge to grab the lovely girl walking next to him up the shrine stairs. He couldn't believe it! A girl as cute and innocent as Kagome actually liked him! He'd never had such a successful date with anyone before, and he couldn't wait to reach her house and claim his reward for all his good behavior during their date._

_Somehow he managed to control himself until they reached her front door._

_"I really had a good time today." Kagome smiled at him almost shyly, and Miroku's hands twitched in response. He only had to wait a bit longer..._

_"I had a wonderful time as well! I hope you'll do me the pleasure of accompanying me on another date in the near future?" He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner while gazing at her hopefully._

_She blushed. "I think I'd like that."_

_Miroku smiled widely before bowing. "Wonderful! Now I must take my leave, but before I do, would you allow me to kiss you goodnight, lovely Kagome?"_

_If possible, her face grew even redder as she nodded._

_He moved closer to her...and just as their lips touched lightly in a sweet goodnight kiss..._

_"HENTAI!!!!!!"_

&

Miroku winced and snapped out of his daydream, painfully recalling the feeling of Kagome's fist meeting his face that night. For being a fairly small girl she was quite strong, and he'd been unconscious for almost a full ten minutes. Luckily for him, though, she was also compassionate. So despite her anger at her backside being blatantly groped, she only left him outside for a few minutes before returning to drag him into the house.

'I never was able to get her to show anymore romantic interest in me again after that.' He stopped sweeping and just stood still, staring into space. 'She allowed me to sleep on their couch that night, and didn't even protest when I kept coming back around to see her and try to convince her that we belonged together, though I know she was still angry with me. All she allowed was for us to become friends, and over time that somehow began to be enough.' Miroku never had understood that. How someone like him could settle for just being friends with such a pretty girl he wasn't sure, but for them it had just felt so natural that he almost couldn't imagine anything else now.

Not that their officially platonic relationship had stopped him from getting in a good grope now and then, of course! A lecherous smile broke out across his face as he remembered all the times his lovely female friend had let her guard drop...those were the moments that made being 'just friends' worth it...

Miroku sighed wistfully.

"...and my dear granddaughter won't suspect a thing!" Tomita-san nodded firmly, his eager voice finally breaking into the younger man's fantasies and causing him to freeze with the realization that he'd managed to tune out everything Kagome's grandfather had been saying for the last several minutes. It was a bad habit anyone that spent much time around the old man tended to pick up. "Do you have any questions, my boy?"

It was going to take a lot of tact and caution to get out of this one unscathed. "Well...I do have just one if you don't mind..."

Tomita-san glared up at Miroku. "What? Was there something you didn't understand? It wasn't very complicated." He huffed. "Oh well, I suppose it can't be helped. What is your question?"

Miroku smiled nervously. "Could you please repeat that from the beginning?"

* * *

"Kaede-sama, do you believe this is such a good idea? He won't like it, you know." 

Kaede gazed across the table at the younger woman, who unconcernedly sipped her tea as if she hadn't just asked a question and was expecting an answer. "And when have you ever been concerned with what he does or doesn't like? If I remember correctly, when he was a child you were the one that told him if he didn't eat his vegetables like his mother wanted him to, you would pin him to a tree with one of your arrows."

Dark brown eyes opened to stare dispassionately at Kaede over the tea cup. "Did I say that? I don't recall..."

"Yes, you did say that." The elder woman shook her head in amusement. "Inuyasha never did fight his mother again about what he would and would not eat. He really believed you would have done it."

"Maybe I would have."

With a half-grunt, half-laugh, Kaede pushed herself up off the cushion she'd been seated on and moved to the small kitchen with the intent of refilling their small teapot.

The two women were a quiet, simple pair that resided in another small Shinto shrine within the large city. It wasn't nearly as elaborate as the Higurashi shrine was, but it was home to them and they ran it with care. Kaede was getting on in years so most of the work was left to her apprentice, Kikyo, but the younger woman didn't mind. It was her chosen life, after all, to reside there as the eventual successor of the shrine.

When looking at Kikyo, people found it hard to guess her age. She was the epitome of a young, beautiful shrine maiden, but after watching her more closely, one couldn't help but think that she must be much older than her appearance would first suggest. Her manner was always graceful, her voice always calm and even. She gave off an air of maturity and wisdom, and could at times be very intimidating.

"Answer me seriously, Kaede-san," Kikyo spoke again once the elder woman was reseated across the table from her. "What are you planning? Do you believe that Inuyasha will benefit in some way from such a situation?" She sounded slightly concerned.

"His mother and I have been talking, and she admits to being worried about the boy. He's always been a little rough around the edges, and his rude behavior makes it difficult for him to have any kind of a decent relationship with a girl - as you might have noticed." The grave tone of her voice belied the amusement glimmering in her eyes. "So she was hoping that perhaps giving him a small push in the right direction might help him find someone kind enough to tolerate him."

"Maybe, but I'm sure you also know that forcing him into anything will just make him more stubborn about not wanting to do it. Speaking of which, how do you plan to get him to agree? Surely you don't expect him to do so without a fight."

Kaede laughed hoarsely. "Oh, his mother and I have already settled that part. I'm sure he won't put up too much of a fight once we have a chance to talk to him about it."

Kikyo only raised her eyebrows in response. She didn't ask for any more details, because if Kaede had wanted her to know, she would have told her more than she had. Besides, it really wasn't any of her business how they planned to railroad the young hanyou as long as they didn't involve her in the matter. "So what is the girl like?"

"Well," Kaede stopped sipping her fresh cup of tea to ponder the question. "I can't tell you much about her, because I've only seen her a few times since her family moved in with that old fool Tomita. It was an odd situation, you know. Her mother was married to Tomita's son, but he just up and abandoned his little family for some other woman when Kagome-chan was…12 years old, I believe. Or was she 10?" The detail only concerned her for a moment before she waved her hand in a gesture of dismissal. "However old she was, it hurt both her and her mother very deeply when it happened, but I was very impressed with how hard she tried to make things easier for her mother, taking on things a child of her age normally does not do. If the way she acted back then is any indication of the girl she grew up to be, then I am sure her kind, responsible nature will be a very good influence on Inuyasha."

Both women were quiet for a moment as they finished off their evening tea. "Are you sure about this, Kaede-san? What if he is the one to influence her?"

Instead of being worried, Kaede just smiled. "Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Who knows what will happen? But if he does, it might just do the girl some good." Standing up with a grunt, she started clearing away their dishes along with help of her young companion.

"Good? And how would that be good?" Kikyo's voice revealed her puzzlement, though her expression never changed. "He is rude, immature, and ill-mannered; not exactly someone that should have any kind of influence over someone else. So how could that be a good thing? I'm afraid that I just don't understand."

"You don't?" Kaede laughed before explaining. "Well, let's just say that I understand Kagome-chan's situation very well. After all, I grew up at a shrine just as she did, and so much was expected of me at such an early age that I missed out on many things that young girls dream about. I never married, never had a family, and always did everything that was expected of me without question. To this day I regret that very much."

"Yet I have no plans to get married or have a family." Kikyo pointed out as she carefully washed out the soiled tea cups. Kaede was waiting with a towel to dry them and put them away.

"Ah, but the difference is that you chose this life for yourself. You were never forced into anything, and you have always been free to choose what life you'd like to have. And who knows? Perhaps someday you'll also find someone that you'd like to share this life with. Nothing is final until you're dead, you know." A chuckle followed this particular statement, because it had always been a favorite saying of the old priestess.

Kikyo nodded, showing that she understood what Kaede had just said, though there was still something she had yet to get a good answer for. "And what does all of this have to do with Inuyasha? I understand that you want to see her have some of the things that you did not, but surely she would be better off with someone a bit more-" She hesitated, unsure of exactly what word she was looking for.

"Inuyasha may be a handful, but he has a good heart."

"I agree with you about that." Kikyo admitted without hesitation. "But I still can't help but wonder if someone of his temperament would be good for such a girl."

"You worry too much, my child." Kaede was finished with drying their dishes, so she hung the towel up to dry. "Personally, I think they'll do very well with each other."

"And if they don't?"

The older woman started laughing. "If that is the case, Inuyasha's mother can more than handle his temper, and that old coot Tomita will be on the receiving end of his granddaughter's wrath, not I."

"Ah. I suppose that's fine, then."

And with that, the two ladies said their goodnights and went to bed.

* * *

**NOTES:** Yes, Kikyo is in the story, though she won't be used as an obstacle for Kagome and Inuyasha in any way. So if you just don't like her and her part in this story upsets you, then you don't have to continue reading. But I think I'm really going to enjoy writing her part in this story! I have plans for her... 

So, are things getting interesting yet? And I know Inuyasha has yet to make an appearance, but all in good time, my friends, all in good time…until then, just enjoy the anticipation and know that I would never let a build up like this one go unfulfilled, LOL…


	3. First Down

**NOTES**: I am SO happy with the way this story is turning out! It has been a very long time since I've been so excited about a writing project, and it is a wonderful feeling. I can only hope it continues so that I can enjoy writing it this much, and so you guys will have a wonderful story to read.

So anyway, keep your comments coming, and I'll keep doing my best! Thanks so much for the reviews!

_**Warning**_: The language will get a bit coarser from this chapter on, because of the appearance of...yes...you guessed it...but I will still try to keep it to a minimum and only use the rougher words if I have to for emphasis.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story, but I do own my muse. Yes, for once I actually want to claim ownership of the lazy thing...but by next week I'll probably be willing to auction it off to some poor sucker when it starts refusing to work again.

* * *

**The Definition of Normal  
**Chapter Three

"Whew, what a day!" Kagome flopped down on her bed, reveling in the comforting scent of freshly washed sheets. It was several days after the incident with her Grandfather, and Kagome had already forgotten about it and was back in a much more cheerful frame of mind. "I really can't remember the last time the shrine has been so busy! We must have had at least four full tours of people today, most of them foreign tourists. So of course you know Miroku was happy."

"More than happy, I'd say," Came the dry response. "Knowing him, he's probably still mooning about them and driving the rest of your family crazy, isn't he?"

"You got it." Kagome laughed as she overheard her grandfather threatening to 'purify' Miroku's dirty mind with his non-existent powers. "I've obviously told you far too much about this crazy family for you to know that without even being here to see it."

Cradling the phone between her head and her shoulder, Kagome stood up and stretched while her friend Eri laughed. "I love your family, Kagome-chan! I wish my family were more like yours, but unfortunately it would be a cold, snowy day in hell before my parents would do anything that could be considered abnormal or even fun."

"Yes, but at least your parents are intelligent, successful people that have the means to put you through college so that you can do something with your life." The sadness in Kagome's voice was unmistakable.

"Oh, don't sound so down, Kagome-chan!" Eri cried. "You make me miserable just listening to you! I'm sure things will improve soon, you've just got to wait for the right opportunity to do something about it."

Accusing Kagome of being unhappy immediately put the girl in question on the defensive. "I'm not down! I just...started thinking about how much I miss you guys, since I don't get to see you often anymore." While they were talking she had moved over to her closet to dig for her pajamas, but stopped in the middle of her search to cross her fingers, hoping that Eri would buy the lie and let the subject go.

Thankfully, she did. Or at least she seemed to.

"THAT, my friend, is exactly why I called you tonight! Everyone has been talking about it for a while, and we finally decided that we'd like to have a girl's only day, just the four of us. We could go out, shop, eat, and even have a sleepover just like we used to! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Kagome smiled wistfully. "Actually, it does...but I'm not sure if I should leave Grandpa alone with the shrine. No telling what he'd do while I was gone."

"Pssht." The sound Eri made told Kagome that she thought her friend was worrying needlessly. "Forget about the shrine for a while! I'm sure if you asked, Miroku would be more than happy to keep an eye on both it and your Grandfather for a day. He's over there all the time anyway."

"I don't know..." Kagome chewed on her bottom lip as she considered what her friend was saying.

"Kagome-chan." Eri's voice was suddenly dead serious, and a shiver of unease trailed down Kagome's spine. "If you don't come, I'm going to tell your grandfather that you were the one who broke his favorite antique bowl made from the dried skin of a-"

"UGH! Okay, okay! I'll go! Just don't remind me of that disgusting bowl!" Kagome covered her face with her hands, trying to ward off the memory Eri had just brought up. Her grandfather had once owned a bowl supposedly made out of the dried skin of a kappa, and Kagome, being young and careless, had eaten out of it one day without realizing what it was. When her grandfather saw her and freaked out about it, shouting about what it was made of, Kagome had immediately run to the bathroom and thrown up everything she had just eaten. Then not long after that, the bowl had mysteriously ended up broken beyond repair. Of course, Kagome had told everyone that the cat did it...

"Great!" Eri's cheerful voice broke through Kagome's disturbing memories. "We'll see you tomorrow, Kagome-chan. Meet us at Yuka-chan's house at eight o'clock sharp, and don't be late!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Kagome made a face at the phone when she realized that there was no longer anyone on the other end.

* * *

"DAMMIT!" 

A door slammed, followed by the sound of shoes being flung rather violently against the wall.

"Inuyasha?" The delicate, feminine voice that called out from one of the rooms down the hallway was a stark contrast to the one that had just cursed. "Please mind your language, dear, for Kaede-sama has come to visit us today, and she is planning to stay for dinner. Oh, and please don't damage the wall again. We just had it fixed..."

Incoherent grumbling was her only response as Inuyasha followed the hallway until he entered the room. "Oi, what are you doing here, Baba? I thought you never left that run-down old shrine of yours."

The two women in the room eyed the grumpy hanyou, one with barely concealed amusement, and one with a gaze of warning. "Inuyasha, quit being rude to Kaede-sama. She is a guest in our house, and I won't tolerate your bad behavior towards her." When the only response she received was his usual 'Keh' as he sat down across the table from them, her look turned from anger to concern. "What's the matter? Did you have a bad day at school today?"

The change in his mother's tone was enough to make Inuyasha feel guilty for his earlier behavior, and his ears drooped in a telling manner. "The other day I got assigned to do a stupid project with this girl in one of my classes, but when we actually got around to doin' the work on it, she had to take off because of some sort of family emergency or something. So I got stuck doing the entire thing."

"Oh, the poor thing. Is everyone in her family okay?"

"Keh, as if I know! She hasn't been back to school since, and I had to turn the project in without her."

Now his mother was a bit suspicious about what he was really upset about. On the surface it looked as if he was just annoyed over having to do the entire project himself, but after his last statement, she began to question if it wasn't something else that was really upsetting him. "Have you gotten a grade back for it yet?"

"Yeah...got it today." If possible, his ears got even flatter than they had been a few moments ago.

To his mother, that look told all. "I'm sure you did your best on it for her, so I believe she'll understand. Don't feel too badly about it."

"Keh! I wasn't feeling bad about it! I'm just annoyed that she didn't help, because if she had, we would have gotten a better grade!" Huffing, he crossed his arms and turned away from both her mother and Kaede, a sure sign that a sore spot had been hit. He WAS upset about not getting a better grade on that project himself, though he certainly wasn't going to admit it.

From her vantage point, Kaede quietly watched the whole exchange between mother and son. The scene made her smile, because it really was a very telling conversation. Anyone who knew Inuyasha well enough could see that he felt bad for not doing a better job, because obviously the girl couldn't help whatever situation has arisen at home. And though he tried to make it look as if he were upset with her, he was really more upset with himself than with anyone else. Just as she had told Kikyo a few days before, Inuyasha had a good heart, even if he chose not to let many people see it.

But hopefully Kagome would be one of the few who could, whether he chose to let her see it or not.

After things had settled down some and the three had begun to eat dinner together, Kaede finally decided that it was time to do exactly what she had come for, because to put it off any longer would be pointless. Though she could only hope that he would remain in the room long enough for her to pull out the 'secret weapon' that she had hinted to Kikyo about. Without it, she had very little hope of convincing him to do anything, much less go out with a strange girl.

"Inuyasha, I know this is a very personal question, but do you have anyone special?"

The seemingly random, completely un-Kaede-like question caused Inuyasha to nearly choke on a mouthful of rice. "W-what the hell, baba? Where do you get off asking me a question like that?!?"

Once again the badly-mannered hanyou was on the receiving end of one of his mother's glares.

"Please, Inuyasha, just humor this old woman and excuse me for asking such a personal question. When you get to be my age, propriety just doesn't matter as much to you as it once did." This was followed by a hoarse laugh, more from finding humor in the expression on Inuyasha's face than her own words. "So do you have anyone that you care about?"

The shade of red that Inuyasha's face turned nearly matched his shirt perfectly, and his mother had to hide a smile behind her hand. "I think the answer is no, he doesn't have anyone, Kaede-sama. Because I'm sure that if he did have a girlfriend, he would have immediately started denying it very loudly." This caused a round of laughter from both women, and Inuyasha could have happily thrown himself off a bridge at that moment. Or even better, them. The idea was tempting...

"Oi, don't ask me such stupid questions, baba!" He slunk down as far as he could go, though no amount of slouching could completely hide him from the amused gazes of the two women across from him.

"Forgive me, Inuyasha." Kaede attempted to regain her normally serious expression. "I do not mean to make jest of you, but it was a necessary question to be asked."

This made Inuyasha sit up and narrow his eyes in suspicion. "What do you mean by that?"

Kaede and Inuyasha's mother exchanged a meaningful glance before turning back to the wary hanyou. This time his mother was the one to speak. "Inuyasha, dear, Kaede-sama and I have been talking, and we are worried about you. A boy your age should have a girlfriend, or at least should be showing a healthy interest in having one. But you seem to be...well...having a bit of trouble in that area..." Her voice trailed off, seeing the dark look on her son's face growing as she talked. They were obviously heading into dangerous territory. "Anyway, we thought that you might just need a little help, so we talked to a friend of Kaede-sama's, and his granddaughter-"

Unable to take it anymore, Inuyasha shot to his feet. "OH NO! I'm not playing that little game! No one has the right to interfere in my life like that. Not you, not anybody! You got that?!?"

Instead of being upset, his mother just smiled serenely. "Maybe we don't have a 'right to interfere' with your love life-" He opened his mouth to complain about his mother's wording, but she firmly cut him off "-BUT that doesn't mean that we won't. It just means that we have to work a little harder to find a way to do it. And I'm certain that we have found an excellent way of doing that. Don't you agree, Kaede-sama?"

"Oh yes." The older woman nodded, her face serious though her eyes were full of what could almost be termed 'sadistic' humor. "I am quite sure that you will see things our way once we explain something to you."

"Keh, like you could say anything to change my mind, baba." The stubborn hanyou crossed his arms over his chest and turned his back, though he thankfully did not leave the room.

"Oh, do you believe so, Inuyasha?" Kaede raised an eyebrow. "Well, what do you say if I say 'Kikyo's most treasured possession'?"

Inuyasha turned around, his eyes wide with horror.

"Oh shit!"

* * *

"Oh my God, did you see that cute guy today standing outside the bookstore?" 

"No, I don't remember seeing anyone standing there."

"Maybe that's because you were too busy actually looking at the books to notice him, Ayumi-chan! What kind of girl are you, anyway?"

"Well, I saw this book that I've been thinking about buying for a while, and-"

"AARRGG! Ayumi-chan! Lighten up and have a little fun, would you? With the way you act, it's amazing that you've actually had a boyfriend before."

"Yuka-chan's right. I'm surprised you even know what a boy IS sometimes."

"Man, Eri-chan, MAN. We are in college now, you know!"

Kagome smiled affectionately as she listened to her three friends talk. No matter how much had changed, some things would always stay the same it seemed, including her friends' fixation with the opposite sex. Almost all day, Eri and Yuka both had been able to talk about almost nothing else, and even now that it was dark and they were all gathered in Yuka's bedroom, the subject was still being run into the ground.

At least they hadn't thought to bring up HER love life, or lack thereof, yet.

"So what do you want to do now?" Yuka questioned. "We've had dinner, watched a movie, and talked about MEN-" She stopped to shoot a pointed glace at Eri "But what other things did we like to do during sleepovers? I can't believe it's been so long that I've actually forgotten!"

Eri laughed. "Hey, I remember something that was always fun! How about playing a game?"

Ayumi clapped her hands together in excitement like a little girl. "Ohhh, I loved to play games during our sleepovers! How about a card game? Is there one that was your favorite, Kagome-chan?"

Kagome opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Yuka after she and Eri had exchanged a peculiar glance. "No, no, I wasn't really thinking about card games. Those just aren't...EXCITING enough for me! I was thinking of something more along the lines of...oh, say, 'Truth or Dare'?"

"YES! Let's play that!" Eri tossed in before anyone else could give their opinion. Once again, the pair exchanged a knowing look, and this time Kagome couldn't help but wonder if they were up to something. They always had been the two mischief-makers of the group, and she was sure that no matter how old they all got, that was something that would also never change.

"Okay, since I thought of it, I'm going to go first." Yuka looked around the group as if deciding which girl would get the honor of being her first victim. For a moment her eyes landed on Kagome with a speculative gleam, but thankfully at the last moment she seemed to decide against it and turned instead to the most oblivious one of the group. "Ayumi-chan, truth or dare?"

"Ummm, truth?"

Leaning forward, Yuka rested her head in her hands. "Soooo, how far did you and your first boyfriend get, exactly?"

"How…far?" Ayumi looked completely puzzled by the question. "Well, we dated for about three months, if that's what you mean."

Kagome had to resist the urge to laugh as Yuka's head slipped from her hands and hit the floor.

"What, did I say something wrong?" Ayumi watched Yuka in concern, not understanding her friend's reaction to the answer she had given.

Yuka pulled her head up and waved her hands in dismissal, looking half-amused, half-exasperated. "No, no, that answers fine, Ayumi-chan. It tells us exactly why your first relationship only lasted three months. Anyway, it's your turn now, so you get to pick someone!"

A thoughtful look crossed Ayumi's face as she gazed at each friend in turn, and everyone couldn't help but wonder who she would pick and what kind of question or dare she would come up with. As kids, hers were always…the most unique, to put it mildly. "Kagome-chan!"

"Yes?" As if being called upon by a teacher, Kagome automatically sat up straight and watched her friend with a nervous expression. Yuka and Eri were giggling behind their hands.

"Kagome-chan, truth or dare?"

Biting her bottom lip in a nervous gesture, Kagome tried to decide which answer would be the lesser of two evils. It was much harder to predict such a thing with Ayumi than with her other two friends. At least with them, it was always a given that dare would probably be the safest bet, because their 'truths' always turned out to be more like deep, dark confessions that she would prefer not to ever see the light of day.

Steeling her resolve after thinking the pros and cons over carefully, Kagome finally decided. "Truth." Her logic was that if she answered a question from Ayumi, then she might not have to deal with any really terrible ones from her other friends later.

"Okay!" A bright smile from Ayumi was the reward for her choice, which was expected, but the smiles on Eri and Yuka's faces were not. So they WERE up to something…but what? "Kagome-chan, please answer this question: In the 9th grade, you aced a math test. Did you cheat?"

Her face was so perfectly serious that Kagome was torn between laughing and being extremely offended. "Of COURSE I didn't cheat, Ayumi-chan!" She nearly shouted her response, because the more she thought about it, the more upset she got. How could anyone think she would ever cheat on anything?

The other two girls burst out laughing at Kagome's heated denial.

"I can't believe-" Eri stopped to gasp for air, she had been laughing so hard "-that you are getting so worked up-" another gasp "-about such a silly question!"

Kagome's face turned red with embarrassment. "Fine, go ahead and laugh, Eri-chan. But I choose YOU next! Truth or dare?" She was seriously hoping that putting someone else on the spot would take the attention off of her.

Not looking disturbed in the least, Eri chose truth.

"Um…" Kagome really hadn't thought of anything good to ask. "Uh, how many of your teachers have you been flirting with to help your grades since you entered college?"

Grinning, Eri answered without any shame. "Every single male teacher I've got. And it works, too!"

Kagome rolled her eyes, having expected that answer. Oh well, at least now attention would stay off of her for a little while, because surely they wouldn't pick on her again so soon.

Oh, how wrong she was…

"Kagome-chan, truth or dare?"

"W-what? Why me AGAIN?" She glared at her unrepentant friend accusingly. "It's not fair for you to pick on me again! What about Yuka-chan?"

"Eh, Yuka-chan just isn't interesting enough. She and I already know each other's secrets, and she won't give me a chance to give her a dare. So I decided to choose you instead!" Eri grinned, amused by Kagome's annoyance with the situation. "Truth or dare, Kagome-chan? We don't have all day you know, so hurry and make up your mind!"

"Of course we don't have all day. It's already almost midnight-"

"Oh, be quiet, Ayumi-chan! Don't take people so literally all the time."

Ignoring the pointless banter going on around her, Kagome hid her face with her hands and bemoaned her terrible luck along with her bad choice of friends. 'Why, oh WHY is someone out to get me lately? What have I done that is so bad that I deserve this?'

"Kagome-chan, would you please make your choice already? Stalling and looking pathetic isn't going to do you any good, so you might as well get it over with."

While Kagome had been distracted, her friends had finally quit fussing and had returned their attention to her. Lifting her head, she met their expectant gazes. There was no help for it, she supposed. Might as well just get it over with as they so kindly 'suggested.'

"Okay, fine. I choose dare."

A squeal of happiness sounded from Eri and Yuka right after she made her choice, and a cold dread began to fill Kagome's chest. Had they been…HOPING she would chose dare? This couldn't mean anything good, because they had always preferred truth as far back as she could remember. What kind of horrible task were they planning to make her do?

"Okay! To be fair, I'm going to give you two dares that you may choose from. As long as you do one of them, that will be fine. But if you choose not to go through with either of them, then we shall be forced to engage the 'Rules of Punishment.' Is that clear?"

Kagome nodded, feeling sick as a knot formed in her stomach. How could she have forgotten about the 'Rules of Punishment'? It was a creation of Eri and Yuka's, made one day after Kagome had refused to do one of Ayumi's dares. The rules state that if someone backs out of a dare or refuses to confess a truth, then at any time in the future the other girls would be allowed to choose and inflict a punishment. Anything that doesn't cause physical harm or break any laws is legal according to the guidelines.

Kagome remembered the one time they'd used it on her, and she cringed. It was their final year of high school, and they had been in the dressing rooms of a clothing store. In the middle of changing they had barged in and stolen all her clothes as well as the ones she was trying on, before leaving the store completely. And there she stayed, in nothing but her underwear and completely humiliated for over an hour while concerned employees kept trying to coax her to come out. Eventually her friends had returned with her clothes after an angry Kagome called them from the store phone (after using a key to get in, the manager finally figured out the problem and loaned the poor girl some of the store's clothes to wear), but it had still taken her a long time to forgive them for that little incident.

"Your first choice is this-" Eri's voice brought Kagome back to the present. "We will buy you the lingerie of our choice, and you have to model it for Miroku."

Kagome's eyes widened in horror at the very idea. "PLEASE tell me you're joking! What happened to the rule that all dares have to be done within an hour?"

Yuka raised a placating hand. "We never stated that as a rule before the dare was made, did we? It's your own fault that you didn't catch that! But don't worry! She's going to give you another choice, remember? Maybe it won't be as bad!"

Once again, the suspicion that they were both plotting something rose in Kagome's mind, causing her eyes to narrow on the pair. "Okay, so what IS this second choice, exactly?"

Eri smiled slyly. "Oh, I think you'll like this one MUCH better."

"Would you just tell me already?!?!"

"Okay!" Eri paused for dramatic affect. "Your second choice is…a blind date!"

The room was dead silent for several moments as the words Eri said sunk in.

"I'm going to KILL both of you!" Kagome shrieked. She lunged at her two friends, but they managed to dodge her just in time while laughing hysterically. It wasn't often that they could get a rise like that out of their normally calm friend, so they found it extremely funny when they could. "You both know how I feel about blind dates! How could you even think to suggest such a thing?!?"

Wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, Eri finally calmed down enough to speak. "Don't you trust us, Kagome-chan? We only want you to be happy!"

That didn't even deserve a response in Kagome's opinion.

"Come on, Kagome-chan. It's just a little date. I know you've had very bad experiences in the past, but don't let that ruin your future! I'm sure that if you keep trying, you'll find someone wonderful! So won't you please give this poor guy a chance?"

Ah, so that was it. Their odd behavior from earlier was suddenly perfectly clear, and Kagome could have slapped herself for not seeing it sooner. "So you even have someone in mind already, do you?" Kagome shot them a dark look. "Why do I get the feeling I've been set up?"

Yuka smiled brightly, not at all put off by Kagome's attitude. "Maybe because you have?"

Groaning, Kagome flopped down on the floor of Yuka's bedroom. She just didn't have the energy to fight anymore. No matter what she did, she knew she wouldn't win. "Fine. I'll go with the blind date."

Eri and Yuka exchanged triumphant, though rather surprised, glances.

"I'm actually kind of shocked that you gave in so quickly." Yuka confessed. "I thought it would take a lot more than that to get you to agree."

"I almost didn't." Kagome sighed and laid down on the futon that had been rolled out for her. "I seriously considered choosing Miroku for a moment-" Her friends all stared at her in disbelief "-but after thinking about it, I suppose it's a better option than going with any blind dates my grandfather chooses for me. You girls must have better taste in men than him!"

Ayumi giggled and finally spoke up after having remained silent during the whole thing. "Well, I would hope so, Kagome-chan."

Instead of laughing along with Ayumi, Yuka and Eri suddenly looked nervous for the first time that evening.

"Um, about that…"

* * *

**NOTES**: Wow, I think this is honestly the longest chapter I've ever written. I didn't intend for this to turn out so long, but I really wanted to give everything a proper set up for the next chapter. I'm sure you guys know what is coming, right? 

And sorry about the 'truth or dare' bit. I know it seems rather cliché, but it was the only thing I could come up to suit my purposes. You'll see why! I can barely stop myself from rubbing my hands together and laughing like some corny TV villain...


	4. That Thing Called Revenge

**NOTES**: I'm back again and hopefully better than ever with chapter four of this lovely little story! Well, perhaps evil would be a better adjective...anyway, the long awaited chapter has arrived, and it is going to be such FUN, hehe! Please enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it...

Oh, and as always, thanks to everyone who left reviews! It makes all my hard work more than worth it when I know I've entertained someone.

_**Warning**_: Coarse language alert where Inuyasha is concerned, as usual.

_Italics indicate flashback._

* * *

Disclaimer: I own nothing, though if I did, I would gladly rent the characters out to fan fiction authors for a small fee. So I guess it is a good thing I don't own them, hmmm? Count your blessings, people, count your blessings...

* * *

**The Definition of Normal**

Chapter Four

The day had barely begun, yet Kagome already had a headache.

"I feel like I have a hangover." Kagome moaned out loud to no one in particular. A random pedestrian gave her an odd look as she passed him, but the miserable girl didn't even notice. Instead, she had one hand over her eyes in an attempt to rub them clear of the grit that had moved in overnight. "I think I'm getting to old for this. I swear, I'm never going to participate in another slumber party as long as I live!" Sighing despondently, Kagome uncovered her eyes before she ended up running into someone and making her day even worse than it was already going to be.

Despite the fact that she was verbally accusing the slumber party for her current ills, Kagome knew the real reason she was so miserable...and it had nothing at all to do with not getting enough sleep because of her giggly, boy crazy friends.

No, it was because her ill-fated 'day of doom' was upon her already.

After Yuka and Eri had successfully cornered her into accepting a blind date the night before, the two girls eventually confessed that the whole thing had been a setup courtesy of Miroku. Kagome might have suspected her grandfather, but Miroku? She was going to have a few...words...with him when she arrived home.

"Figures he would have my friends' phone numbers." The weary girl grumbled as she approached the base of the shrine stairs. "He probably stole them out of my notebook so he could flirt with them. Hopeless pervert."

As annoyed as she was with Miroku, however, that wasn't the real reason she was so convinced her day was going to be bad. It actually had more to do with the OTHER thing her dear friends had confessed that had her so upset.

"_Kagome-chan...um...there is one more thing you need to know." Yuka actually looked a bit timid, which wasn't like the normally outgoing girl at all. Just noticing that was enough to send Kagome's stomach skydiving to her toes. A hesitant Yuka or Eri could never, ever be a good sign._

"_You mean you aren't finished ruining my life?" Their victim joked nervously, absently wringing the hem of her pajama top with her hands._

_Ayumi_ _laughed out loud, thinking it was just a joke, but the other two exchanged wary glances before looking back at their most likely unstable friend. Too much upsetting news was likely to send her over the edge, but did they really have a choice but to tell her? It was all already done, after all, so there wasn't much they could do about it._

"_Actually..." Eri began, steeling her courage. Taking a deep breath, she decided to just plunge in and get the worst part over with before she could back down. "Kagome-chan, your date will meet you at the shrine tomorrow around noon."_

"_WHAT?!?!?!"_

Taking a deep breath as she reached the top of the shrine steps, Kagome smiled as she remembered the beating she'd given those two with a pillow after Eri's announcement. It wasn't much, but at least it gave her some small revenge.

"Welcome home!" Miroku cheerfully greeted as he spotted her from his place in front of the house. He was still in the process of doing her morning chore of sweeping, though it was already well past ten.

Kagome returned the greeting in a subdued tone, but Miroku seemed not to notice her odd attitude.

"So, did you have fun with those lovely friends of yours?" He smiled wistfully and stopped sweeping so he could lean on the handle of the broom. "Ah, to be able to spend the night with, not one, but THREE beautiful ladies. No heaven more wonderful than that could possibly exist..." His dazed expression was accompanied by a mournful sigh. "If only..."

Rolling her eyes at his dramatics, Kagome snatched the broom out from under him and smiled as he fell flat on his face. Maybe the old saying was right, after all. The little pleasures in life were the best ones!

Miroku pushed himself up and spit out a few leaves that had been in a nice, neat little pile a few moments ago. "So, I take it you know?" He eyed her warily and she stood over his prone form still wielding the potential weapon she'd stolen from him.

Kagome feigned a smile. "I don't know what you mean." She replied innocently. "Anyway, I think you need to get up and finish sweeping before Grandpa catches you taking a nap on the job."

Deciding it was better not to argue with her at the moment, Miroku reluctantly stood back up and took the broom from her waiting hand.

Satisfied that he was going to get back to work, Kagome moved to go into the house and nearly laughed at the relieved look on his face. Obviously he thought that the worst of her wrath was over with. Stepping inside, she stopped and turned around before closing the door. "Oh, Miroku, by the way...when you're done, I want to see you and Grandpa in the house."

The young monk stiffened a moment before turning to her and smiling brightly. "Of course, Kagome-sama! Anything for you."

Nodding briefly at his response, Kagome closed the door without another word.

* * *

"I still can't believe you both set me up like this!" Kagome glared at the two men standing before her, hoping to strike some kind of fear into them. It didn't work, however, and she nearly gave in to the temptation to pull her hair out in frustration when neither had the good grace to even look the least bit guilty.

It was after eleven by the time Kagome had managed to herd Miroku and her grandfather into one room, and said girl was currently trying to forget the fact that her date with the devil was almost upon her. Instead of worrying, she was focusing her attention on the culprits who had started the whole mess. Oh, if only she were a more violent person...not that she would hurt her grandfather. Miroku was a different story.

"Kagome-sama..." Miroku stepped forward. "I swear I did not mean to damage your trust in me." He reached out and grasped both her hands in his while gazing into her eyes seriously. "If you deem it so, I would gladly run away with you to save you from this evil fiend!"

Kagome rolled her eyes and disengaged her hands from his, but before she could respond her grandfather popped Miroku upside the head.

"The moment things start looking dangerous, you turn your back on me, boy! Did your father teach you nothing about loyalty and dignity?!?" For having such a small stature, Tomita-san was doing an excellent job of intimidating the much taller, younger man beside him. He nearly had poor Miroku backed into a corner simply by brandishing a shaking fist. "I won't have a dishonorable young man staying in this home, so I suggest you do as I say and not go against me!"

Giving Kagome a woeful, dramatic glance, Miroku nodded his compliance to her grandfather. So much for trying to be nice.

Sighing in irritation, Kagome decided to let it go and just concentrate on survival. That meant learning as much about the enemy as she could. "Well, I guess since I have no choice now, I suppose I should ask you about this guy. Who is he and what old friend of yours is he related to?"

The heavy cynicism in Kagome's voice went unnoticed and Tomita looked as pleased as if his only granddaughter had announced she was getting married. He was really far too happy over having won one small battle and not having yet won the war. "I actually haven't met him myself, but he comes highly recommended by Kaede-san. You remember her, child?"

"Let me think..." Kagome searched her mind for any memories of someone by that name, but was coming up empty. "No, Grandpa, I can't recall. When did I meet her?"

"Kids these days!" Tomita threw up his wrinkled hands in disgust. "At your age I had a sharp memory and could remember everyone I'd ever met! Why, even now I can remember it all! Young ones these days don't train their minds like I had to when I was young. I practiced long hard hours-"

There was a sudden knock at the door, and all three in the group froze. Neither Kagome nor her grandfather noticed the look of shock that quickly passed over Miroku's face.

Feeling a growing dread in the pit of her stomach, Kagome glanced at her watch and nearly turned green when she noticed how late it was. Was it almost noon already?!?! It was amazing how spending time with her crazy grandfather could completely skewer one's sense of time.

After several moments passed and no one answered the door, another impatient knock sounded. Obviously whoever the young man was, he hated to be kept waiting.

Tomita rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Well, Kagome, why don't you answer the door and invite him in? As the head of the house, I must assure myself that he is indeed suitable for my only granddaughter." When she didn't move and instead just stared warily at the door, he finally had to physically shoo her in the right direction by flapping his arms. "Hurry up, girl! He's waiting!"

Realizing that her grandfather wouldn't rest until he got his way, Kagome reluctantly moved towards the door as slowly as if she were being forced to wade through molasses. The entire way she silently prayed that some miracle would intercede for her at the last moment. A giant meteor hitting the house, perhaps? Aliens? Anything would be better than what she was about to have to deal with!

At the same time that Kagome was trying to decide how likely an invasion from Mars was, Miroku was slowly edging himself out of the line of fire by moving into the kitchen, where he would still have a good view of all the action. No one in their right mind would miss the show about to take place, even at the threat of bodily harm. After all, he knew what Tomita didn't because unlike the old man, Miroku had a few spiritual powers and could sense certain things about those around him.

'Yes,' Miroku thought with a small grin as Kagome slowly slid the door open. 'Things are about to get VERY interesting, indeed...'

* * *

If Inuyasha hadn't been in a bad mood before, he was feeling particularly foul while waiting for someone to open the damn door. What the hell was taking them so long, anyway?!?! It wasn't as if they weren't expecting him, so why make him wait so long?

'Keh, not that I'm really anxious to go on this stupid date.' Inuyasha scowled at the thought. 'I just wanna get it over with so I can tell them both that they can go to hell with their stupid ideas about me needing a girlfriend. Crazy old busy-body women!'

Inuyasha cringed at the thought of actually calling either woman that to their face. Both could be scary in their own way when needed, so while he might be far stronger than either, fear implanted in him as a child by both women still remained true and strong. How else were two human women able to control a stubborn, strong-willed hanyou when needed?

Just as the said hanyou was able to get his thoughts back on track to his current situation, the door in front of him slid open to reveal a surprisingly normal looking girl. Well, normal if you didn't count the scowl on her face fierce enough to match his own, though it quickly turned to an expression of shock upon getting a good look at him. What had her so surprised, anyway?

"You...you..." The girl had started stuttering, causing Inuyasha to feel exasperated and more than a little worried. What had Kaede and his mother gotten him into, anyway? A blind date with someone who had a speech impediment? "I-I can't believe..."

"What's the matter, girl? Stop stuttering and invite the boy inside! Have you forgotten all the manners your mother and I have ever taught you?" At the end of the admonishment, a very short and very old man that reminded Inuyasha somewhat of Kaede came tottering up to whom was obviously his granddaughter. He peered around her just as she was obeying her grandfather and opening the door wider to admit him.

"Forgive my manners and please come in! My name is Higurashi Kagome."

If things had been strange a moment ago, they were doubly so as the girl named Kagome suddenly seemed very happy to see him, and the old man switched from welcoming to threatening at the drop of a hat. Their sudden change in attitude towards him caused Inuyasha to be wary as he accepted the invitation and stepped inside the door. And for good reason, as he was about to find out...

"DEMON!!!! Begone from this shrine immediately!" With a small roar that was probably meant to be intimidating but fell far short, the old man grabbed a piece of paper from his clothes and tried to slap it on his guest's forehead. It wasn't difficult to dodge the pathetic attack, but it still ticked Inuyasha off.

"What the hell is your problem, you crazy old man!?!"

"Now, now..." Kagome latched onto her Grandfather's clothing before he could launch another attack, and patted his shoulder soothingly. The expression on her face was strange, but without knowing the girl, Inuyasha couldn't put his finger on what it was. "Grandpa, that's no way to treat a guest in our home. Especially one that you yourself invited. So please behave yourself!" The last words she spoke were as hard the first words were soft, an obvious warning that no one missed.

'Damn, there really is something weird going on here. First she seemed upset to see me, then she seemed happy, and now she's just acting...strange. And the old man seemed happy, then angry before he started shouting about me being a demon...' As if someone had switched a light bulb on in his head, Inuyasha suddenly realized, at least in part, what all of the craziness was about. 'They didn't know that I'm a hanyou, did they? Aw, hell...'

Inuyasha snapped out of his thoughts when he suddenly realized that Kagome had just asked him something. "Uh...name's Inuyasha. Takahashi Inuyasha."

"Well, Takahashi-san!" Kagome might have been happy to see him before, but it was nothing compared to the nearly brittle brightness she was displaying at the moment. "If we don't get going soon, we'll never get to enjoy our date! Goodbye Grandpa, and be good! Miroku, don't let him get into any trouble, and YOU stay out of trouble as well!"

Inuyasha barely managed to catch a glimpse of a dark-haired male lurking in the kitchen doorway before the girl unceremoniously grabbed his arm and escorted him from the house before her Grandfather could form another objection. She was dragging him along nearly at a run when her grandfather managed to yell out one last threat. "Demon, if you so much as harm a hair on my only granddaughter's head-!" before he could finish, he was jerked back into the house and the door was slammed shut, effectively cutting off any further pursuit as the pair neared the end of the shine staircase.

When they reached the bottom, Inuyasha jerked to a stop and yanked his arm out of her grasp, but the girl didn't protest as she stopped to catch her breath. He didn't speak but instead just stood there and eyed her doubtfully. She really needed to do some explaining, and he wasn't going to budge from that spot until she did, no matter what.

Just then, Kagome suddenly doubled over and started laughing.

"What the hell-?" For a moment he considered just leaving her there since she was obviously crazy, and the temptation to just blow off the whole thing was strong, but curiosity finally won out. He could ditch her later if he needed to, but first he really wanted to know what was going on! "Oi, quit laughing, would you?" He demanded crossly. "What the hell is the deal with you and your crazy ass grandfather?"

Making an obvious effort, Kagome straightened up and used the back of her hand to wipe tears from her eyes. A few more stray giggles escaped, but she finally seemed to be back under control. "I'm sorry, but..." Another small laugh came out before she could continue, and Inuyasha had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "You see...um..."

"Would you just spit it out already?" Inuyasha huffed. This was getting old fast.

His attitude seemed to ruffle her good mood at last, and the giggles quickly turned into a frown. "You don't have to be so rude about it, you know. I'm trying to explain!"

"Keh. Could have fooled me."

"Ohhhh..." Kagome had begun to turn red from annoyance and anger as she faced the hanyou that her grandfather had unwittingly set her up with. "You know, I'm already starting to regret that I decided to come with you, even if it was just to get revenge on Grandpa! I knew he'd hate it if I went out with anyone that wasn't human, but now I'm beginning to think that hanging around you for even a few hours wouldn't be worth it. Jerk!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "So you decided to go along with this just because I'm a freakin' hanyou? Hell, if that's the case then you're crazy, bitch!"

"Wha-?" If his eyes weren't witnessing it, he would have never believed she could turn redder than she already was. "Has anyone told you that you have a filthy mouth?"

Inuyasha smirked. "Yeah, but I've lost count."

Realizing that nothing else she could probably say would faze him in the least, Kagome sighed and admitted defeat. "Whatever. Look, I've already had to spend this much time around you so I might as well not let it go to waste. Let's just go find a way to kill a few hours and that way I'll at least get some kind of reward for my suffering."

"Keh. So why would I want to go anywhere with you if it's going to make you suffer?" He questioned her sarcastically. Shoving his hands in the pocket of his jeans, he scowled at her. "Just because you want to tick the old man off doesn't mean I have to go along with it. I did my part and showed up here like I was told, so that's it. I'm outta here..."

With that, Inuyasha turned around and walked off, leaving Kagome staring after him in shock.

* * *

Did he really just walk off and leave her standing there like that? Of all the nerve! Now what was she supposed to do? She couldn't just go back to the shrine because her Grandfather would be ecstatic that things didn't work out between her and the 'demon.'

'I suppose I could kill a few hours and then just tell him we were out together the entire time.' Kagome contemplated. 'But no, that wouldn't work at all. Miroku has told me hundreds of times how bad I am at lying. Everyone will be able to tell and then I'll never hear the end of it.' Groaning out loud, Kagome buried her face in her hands. "I've got to think of something!"

Suddenly, Kagome's head popped back up just in time to see Inuyasha's back as he rounded the corner at the end of the street. That was it! Oh, why hadn't she thought of it earlier? It was the perfect plan!

Kagome started down the street at a near run, praying that no one she was vaguely acquainted with was around to see her actually chasing a man. She would never live down the humiliation if that happened!

"Hey, wait!" Kagome called out as she too rounded the corner, knowing he could easily hear her with those dog ears of his.

Maybe he could, but that didn't mean he was planning to pay any attention to the crazy girl running after him. Instead he blatantly picked up the pace and tried to stay as far ahead of her as possible. He seemed to think that if he could ignore her long enough, she'd finally give up and go away.

Inuyasha apparently didn't realize how stubborn she was.

"I said STOP!" She shouted, picking up speed and not caring about all the stares she was receiving from other people on the street. "If you don't stop, I swear I'm going to tell Kaede-san everything!"

That did it.

Inuyasha swung around and pointed a clawed finger at her, looking angry and perhaps a little fearful. "You wouldn't dare!"

Too out of breath to argue with him for the moment, Kagome stopped a few feet away from him and leaned down to rest her hands on her knees. It was really hard running in a skirt and uncomfortable shoes, but Kagome seemed to be a pro at things like that. Probably from years of scaling the shrine stairs in nearly every type of girly clothing known to women.

"Listen," Kagome said once she'd caught her breath. "I know you obviously don't like me, and right now the feeling is mutual-"

"Keh, talk about stating the obvious!"

Kagome glared at him for his unnecessary comment. "Just be quiet for a moment, would you? What I was trying to say is that even though we obviously don't like each other, I'm in a bind and YOU are going to help me whether you like it or not."

The mix of disbelief and outrage on Inuyasha's face almost made her back down, but she managed not to give in. "What the HELL-!"

"WAIT!" Kagome held up a hand to his face before he could rail at her. "Before you start yelling at me, I'll go ahead and tell you why, and it's simple; if you don't go along with this, I'm going to get Kaede-san's contact information from my grandfather and proceed to make your life miserable if you don't. Understand?"

Inuyasha's earlier protests died as he stared at her in shock.

She seemed satisfied with the expression on his face. "Ah, so I guessed right! You're scared of her, and that's why you even agreed to go on this blind date. Am I correct?"

Inuyasha looked ready to blow his top at that accusation. "The HELL I am! Why would I be scared of that old hag?!?!"

"I'll tell her you said that, too."

Kagome grinned and crossed her arms over her chest in a confident pose when Inuyasha couldn't seem to come up with anything horrible enough to call her. For him, that was saying a lot more than if he'd shouted numerous curses at her.

"It's only for a few hours, so you don't need to get so upset." She reasoned. "Then I can hold it over Grandpa's head for a while and we'll never have to see each other again. That doesn't seem so bad, right?"

Inuyasha seemed to be considering his options. As she watched his expression change she knew she was winning, and sure enough when he spoke, it was exactly what she wanted to hear. "FINE! But it's NOT because I'm scared of anyone! I'm just doing it so you'll shut up and leave me alone!"

Kagome resisted the urge to laugh at him. "Fine, fine. I'll accept that."

With that, their 'date' officially began.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Kaede's shrine, she suddenly sneezed.

"Kaede-san, are you feeling ill?" Kikyo asked in concern. Kaede was elderly, and to become ill with something even as simple as a cold could be dangerous.

A hoarse laugh was her response. "No, no, child. I am not ill. Most likely someone was talking about me."

The younger woman eyed Kaede doubtfully. "Do you really believe in that old superstition?"

Another laugh. "If I am truthful, then no, I do not. If I know Inuyasha, however, he has probably said enough foul things about this old lady today that it might make a believer of even the most dedicated of skeptics."

Sudden understanding dawned on Kikyo's face and she stopped sweeping to stare at her companion thoughtfully. The elder woman was sitting on the porch reading over some documents. "Kaede-san, I take it that you followed through with your plans."

"Ah, I did." She nodded, never looking up from what she was reading.

The place was quiet for a few moments as Kikyo digested this information.

Then, in an uncharacteristic move on her part, she smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile none-the-less.

Kaede never noticed.

* * *

**NOTES**: Yes, things are getting uglier, aren't they? I really enjoyed writing this chapter! I think this is the first story I've written where both Inuyasha and Kagome seem to have a very strong dislike for each other, and I'm finding it a very entertaining situation to write. And trust me, things are going to have to get worse before they can get better, but that will just make things more fun!

I had some issues with this chapter, so thank my cousin for reading it over and telling me why I was unhappy with it, lol...it's amazing how you can feel that something is wrong, but it takes someone else to tell you exactly what. And hey, because of that, you got an extra 1,000 words because I had to add an entire scene to get it flowing correctly.

Please leave me your comments, and I look forward to hearing from you again in the next chapter...


	5. Date with the Devil

**NOTES**: Now that we have made it to the date chapter, I'll go ahead and make a confession. This story was inspired by a personal experience. Some of you have commented that you have never been subjected to a blind date, but I can say that I have, or at least something similar to one. It was a horrible experience that my mother still apologizes for whenever the subject comes up. She and her friend plotted to get myself and her son together to go out with them on Valentine's Day, and I was dead set against it. I finally gave in for some reason I still can't recall (brain-washing, I tell you!), and we met at a restaurant. He saw his ex-girlfriend there with someone else and took off before we could even be seated, leaving me with my mother and his mother. Apparently they thought I would be heart broken or something because they tried so hard to comfort me, but I was just jealous that I couldn't leave, too! (I'd come with my mother while he'd come on his own) I ended up eating with them and listening to stories about someone whose finger got cut off. Fun, fun day that was...

So now that you guys know my deep, dark secret, pity Kagome and Inuyasha greatly because I'm taking it all out on them. evil laughter

**_Warning_**: As usual, Inuyasha's language will probably scorch a few eyes...

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Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own the characters but I do own the plot as well as the memories that inspired them. I plan to keep the plot, but the memories I've been trying to get rid of for years! Anyone know how to cause selective amnesia?

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**The Definition of Normal**

Chapter Five

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"So..." Kagome trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. She'd gotten him to agree to the date, but now what? She really hadn't thought that far ahead. "Anything in particular you want to do?"

The hanyou in front of her didn't hesitate with his answer. "Hell yeah! I want to end this stupid date so I can go home!"

Kagome's eyebrow twitched as she clenched her fists. No need to blow her top and make things worse than they already were. "Let me rephrase the question since your tiny brain's ability to understand seems to be limited. What do you want to do with ME for the next few hours? Ending the date is NOT an option."

The smirk she got in response to her question was unexpected, and Kagome watched him warily until it dawned on her exactly how her new and improved inquiry sounded. She flushed with embarrassment. "Pervert! I didn't mean it that way and you know it!"

Inuyasha grinned, and she fought the urge to slap the obnoxious expression off his face. "Whaddya mean, calling me a pervert? For all you know I could have been thinking about spending the next few hours dropping you off a cliff. A really, really HIGH cliff..."

"Oh, shut up!" If possible, she turned even redder.

The 'couple,' if you could even term them that, spent the next several moments staring each other down. They were still no more than a block from the shrine, as they couldn't seem to agree on what their next move would be.

As Kagome eyed her adversary with a stony glare, she finally began to notice more about him than his demon features and obnoxious attitude. 'He really is rather good looking.' She noted distractedly, thrown off by her sudden, non-violent thoughts. 'If his attitude wasn't so horrible, I might actually be attracted to him.' Her eyes took in the long silver hair that was loose and flowing slightly in the breeze, as well as his lean frame that was currently in an irritatingly cocky stance. She also couldn't help but notice the fact that the basic t-shirt and jeans he was wearing did nothing to detract from his well-defined muscle structure. But what caught her attention the most was the unusual color of his eyes. They were a bright yellow-gold, and seemed to glow in the light of the afternoon sun as they stared down at her with an unspoken challenge.

Kagome shook her head and blinked, trying to dispel the crazy thoughts she was starting to have. No use staring at someone that was all looks and no substance, right? She'd never want a guy like him in a million years! "Okay, let's try this one more time." She spoke with as much patience as she could muster, and was satisfied to see his startled reaction. He'd obviously been expecting her to be anything but calm. "Do you want to go get some lunch? We could head over to the shopping district and get something there since it's only a few blocks away."

He seemed to consider her suggestion for a moment before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. "Whatever. Let's just go."

"Great!" Kagome smiled in relief as they began the short trek in search of food. 'Hey, at least we finally agreed on something, so perhaps this afternoon won't be a total disaster.'

They had been walking in silence for several moments and Kagome had just begun to relax, when Inuyasha suddenly turned to look at her as she trailed slightly behind him. "Oi, don't be so slow! Though I suppose you can't help it, being a weak human and all." He grinned again before turning back around, knowing he'd found a button to push that would crumble her short peace into a pile of dust.

'Scratch that.' Kagome thought sourly as she glared at the back of the man quickly becoming the bane of her existence. 'This afternoon is going to the dogs...literally.'

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* * *

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Inuyasha couldn't hide his amusement from the girl behind him, and really, he didn't even bother to try. She was annoying, irritating, and demanding, so to even things out he was doing everything within his power to drive her insane. It was only fair, after all.

Really, who did this girl think she was to try and hold something over his head? No one got away with treating him like something to be used and thrown away when it was no longer convenient to have him around. She might be getting away with using him to annoy her old fart of a grandfather, but that didn't mean he was just going to let her walk all over him without a fight!

Suddenly she spoke up, startling him out of his not-so-charitable thoughts. "So what kind of food do you like?"

He looked to his left and saw her walking along next to him as if they were friends out on a cozy little walk together. Her face was smooth and serene, an obvious attempt at not letting his attitude get to her. The entire sight renewed every ounce of his annoyance with her, and he growled. "What does it matter to you what I want? Bitch..." He grumbled under his breath.

She turned towards him sharply, all pretense at serenity lost. "Well I was TRYING to be nice and let you choose where to eat since this whole 'date' seems to be such torture for you, but I think I've changed my mind." Pausing for only a moment, she quickly seemed to come to a decision. "I want Okonomiyaki!" She announced, grandly ignoring the disgusted expression on her companion's face.

"Ugh! Who could eat that crap?" He glowered at her.

Kagome turned to him as they continued walking, a shocked look on her face. "It's not CRAP! I happen to like it, but then, I'm guessing that out of the two of us, I'm probably the only one that has any real taste."

Inuyasha was stunned that she would have the gall to insult his sense of taste –or rather his lack thereof– without even finding out what kind of food he liked! The angry glare he sent her way was normally enough to make grown men cower, but she didn't seem fazed in the least. In fact, she actually had the nerve to stick out her tongue at him and then laugh about it!

This girl seriously had a death wish, and he was becoming more tempted by the moment to grant it.

Gritting his teeth, Inuyasha resisted the urge to do bodily harm and instead settled for using his most scathing tone of voice. "YOU-" He reached out and poked her in the middle of her forehead with the blunt part of his finger "-have no room to talk about having taste while wearing those freakin' ugly clothes! They make your butt look so big that you need a sign that says 'wide load!'"

And so was demonstrated the number one reason why Inuyasha couldn't get a girlfriend, much less keep one. He had all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and about as many self-preservation instincts as a male praying mantis when it came to taboo things to say to women. Like the mantis, contact with females usually ended with the woman biting Inuyasha's head off.

Unfortunately for the idiotic hanyou, it looked like Kagome would not be an exception.

She was the rule incarnate, to be precise.

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* * *

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'Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.' Kagome mentally coached herself, trying to gain some semblance of control even while her face was turning a dangerous shade of red. 'I won't kill him. I won't even physically maim him...I'll just make his life a living HELL!' Kagome finally snapped, and she knew that Inuyasha could see it written all over her face, if his expression was any indication.

"I...cannot...BELIEVE YOU!" Kagome shouted, not caring how much attention she was drawing to herself. There were quite a few people around since they were currently standing at the edge of the shopping district, and all eyes turned to the half-crazy girl in their midst as she railed on a nervous looking hanyou. "I try to be nice, but all you can do is act like a pervert, insult my clothes, call me FAT, make rude comments, and just be an all around JERK!"

By that point tears were starting to form in her eyes and Inuyasha took an involuntary step back. He wasn't afraid of anger, but tears were another thing entirely! She was shaking her fist in his face as the tears spilled over, somehow managing to look crushed and viciously angry at the same time. It never failed to amaze him how a woman managed to carry off two conflicting emotions like that. Heck, it was hard enough for him to get one right, much less two! The entire concept boggled his mind.

"All I wanted was a peaceful 'date,' but no! You had to ruin it for me just to watch me suffer like some kind of sadist!" She sniffled and stepped back, suddenly going from fireball to drooping flower in mere seconds. Inuyasha, meanwhile, was staring at her like she had two heads, or perhaps a split personality. Had his mother and Kaede set him up with a mental case?

Before Inuyasha could recover from Kagome's display of temper, his sensitive ears suddenly picked up the sound of whispering from the people surrounding them.

"Oh, the poor girl! Somebody needs to teach that idiot with her a lesson!"

"He's a real winner, isn't he?"

"Look at the poor thing crying her eyes out. She obviously loves him, though I don't see why. She could do so much better than a jerk like that even if he is hot!"

"Ah, young love...I wish my husband would fight like that with me again, because making up was always so much fun!"

The whispers continued bombarding him from all sides, some indignant, some amused, some angry, some sarcastic, and some sympathetic. Most of the comments he could handle (After all, negative attitudes towards him were anything but rare), but some had Inuyasha turning an intense shade of red.

'What the...we aren't like THAT!' He looked around with a horrified expression, not knowing how to do damage control since the situation had gotten so out of hand.

"Oi!" Inuyasha finally raised his clawed hands in an awkward, placating gesture, eyes wide with near panic. "I didn't mean it, okay? Just stop crying already!"

Kagome continued to sniffle pathetically, though she did look up long enough to glare daggers at him. "Liar! You did too mean it!"

The hanyou let out a nearly audible sigh of relief and crossed his arms over his chest in a much more comfortable, familiar pose. Anger was good. Anger he could handle. "Look, just stop acting like a wimpy crybaby already! It's not like we're really going out or anything, so it shouldn't matter what I think about your damn clothes!"

That made Kagome pause. "I suppose you have a point...but that still doesn't mean that what you said wasn't horrible! Especially about my butt!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes to hide his relief that at least she'd stopped crying. Yeah, so he'd probably gone too far by calling her butt big. But really, what did she expect? He wasn't some sort of romantic sap that knew how to say nice things to girls!

'But that doesn't mean you have to say cruel, nasty things to them either.' His mind quietly accused him. 'There is such a thing as middle ground, moron.'

Cringing, Inuyasha realized that he should try to make amends somehow. Not that he felt guilty or anything! He just didn't want his mom or the old hag to find out what he'd said. Yeah, that was it!

"Keh. I really didn't mean it, okay?" Inuyasha's voice was gruff in an attempt to cover his nervousness, and he was refusing to look in her direction, though he could feel her eyes on him. "I just...I just couldn't stand the fact that you'd insulted ramen!"

Kagome had been expecting him to have any number of crazy excuses, but that? She shook her head in disbelief before continuing to stare at him with wide eyes. "Why would anyone in their right mind get so worked up over an imagined insult to RAMEN of all things?"

He rounded on her, his attempt to ignore her quickly forgotten. "Like hell I imagined it! YOU-" He pointed an accusing finger at her "-said I didn't have any taste!"

Kagome continued to stare at him as her mind slowly put two and two together from his...unique...way of reasoning. When she spoke, her words were slow and measured, as if she didn't quite believe what she was saying. "So you're offended because I insulted your lack of taste, but only because that meant I was insulting...ramen?"

His expression clearly said that she was an idiot for having to even ask.

"Oookay." Kagome closed her eyes and massaged her forehead, attempting to forget the strange mental images his obsession with ramen was bringing about. Liking certain foods was one thing, but this went way beyond that. Was it some kind of fetish of his? "You know what? I'm just going to try and forget that we ever had this conversation. My brain can't handle it."

"Keh. Not my fault that you can't appreciate the finer things in life." He stuck his nose in the air, and the pose gave Kagome an insane urge to giggle like mad. He really was about to drive her batty...

In a desperate attempt to rescue her flailing mind, Kagome looked around at all the stores and food shops surrounding them. "So...I see the place where I want to eat!" She pointed down the street a short distance to a small open stand. Kagome knew it didn't look like much, but they had the best okonomiyaki she'd ever eaten.

She moved to take a step in that direction, when Inuyasha had the nerve to grab her arm. "I told you I don't wanna eat that crap!" He pointed towards another small stand on the other side of the narrow street almost directly opposite the place Kagome wanted to go. "We're gonna eat there!"

She frowned and stared at the sign over the stand. "Ramen?" Her stomach churned slightly. Almost any other time she might have been amendable to it, but after the conversation they'd had...no. Just no. She shook her head almost violently. "I refuse! I said I get to pick, so we are eating okonomiyaki and that's final!"

"Ramen!" Inuyasha met her challenging glare head on.

"Okonomiyaki!"

"RAMEN!"

"Okonomiyaki!"

"I-WANT-RAMEN, BITCH!"

Frustrated to her breaking point, Kagome threw her hands up in the air, a dramatic gesture of defeat. It wasn't as if she wanted to eat with the jerk anyway, so why fight it? "Fine! Go eat your stupid ramen and CHOKE on it for all I care!" Without waiting for a response, Kagome marched off in the opposite direction and left him standing there, still seething with anger as he stared at her retreating form.

"Yeah, well...I hope you choke on yours AND it tastes nasty!" Inuyasha shouted after her, once again causing himself to be the center of attention. Trying to ignore all the speculative stares being aimed his way, Inuyasha stalked over to the ramen stand, much to the dismay of the little man behind the narrow counter.

"G-Good afternoon!" The nervous looking man stuttered nervously. His fear was more than justified, seeing as the hanyou across from him looked fit to kill. "W-What will y-you have?" The stall owner attempted a smile, but only managed to look a bit ill instead.

"Keh. I'll take double whatever your special is, and make it fast!" Inuyasha snapped in response.

The stall had several small seats in front of it for customers to eat at, and Inuyasha threw himself on one so violently that the cook cringed. "O-Of course! Coming right up!" Mentally, the man vowed to make that order the fastest one ever filled. The sooner he could get the violent, scary hanyou away from his stall, the better! As it was, people were giving his booth a wide berth and it was making him lose business.

Scowling darkly, Inuyasha tapped his claws impatiently on the counter's surface as he watched the cook's every move.

Meanwhile, Kagome was on the other side of the small road and placing an order of her own. She was much more polite to the person working at that stall, and the man couldn't help but send up a small prayer of thanks that her hanyou friend hadn't followed her. Just in case, however, he thought it might be a good idea to speed things up should her companion suddenly get it in his head to join her.

"Thank you!" Kagome gratefully accepted her food from the cook. It smelled wonderful, and Kagome couldn't help but wonder what that idiot saw in his stupid ramen anyway. Not that ramen was bad...but really, having a fetish for it was just wrong!

'Okay, that's enough!' Kagome ordered herself sternly. 'Don't think about that idiot anymore or you'll ruin your meal.' Satisfied that she was through dwelling upon the current bane of her existence, the hungry girl took the first bite of her food. Ah, heaven...she smiled happily, all thoughts of the idiot behind her forgotten in her food-induced bliss...

'Wow, this stuff is really good! I can't remember the last time I ate here.' Kagome took another bite and sighed thoughtfully. 'It might have been before I graduated, because I remember coming here with Yuka, Eri, and Ayume. Wait! I can't think about them right now, because I'm still angry! They set me up with that obnoxious jerk!'

Okay, so maybe he wasn't quite as forgotten as she'd hoped.

Unable to help herself since her attempts at pretending he didn't exist had derailed, Kagome turned to look over her shoulder, planning to give Inuyasha her best evil eye. Stupid jerk, over there eating his stupid food and stupidly ignoring her like she wasn't even-

Wait, where did he go?

Suddenly worried that he'd used her distraction to skip out on her, she began frantically searching the area visually. He couldn't have gotten far, right? Wait, scratch that. He was a hanyou, so he was probably on the other side of Tokyo already and laughing his butt off at her at that very moment.

Feeling more upset then she thought she should be under the circumstances, Kagome whirled back around and attacked her food so viciously that it made the people around her stare with wide eyes. "Fine, be that way!" She muttered under her breath between bites. "I'm enjoying myself a lot more with you gone! So there!"

"Keh! You don't look like you're having all that much fun to me."

Startled, Kagome nearly fell off her stool as she turned to find the source of the voice. Sure enough, there was Inuyasha standing next to her with an extra large, disposable bowl of ramen in his hands and his trademark smirk. "I thought you'd run off!" She blurted out, feeling suddenly embarrassed. Was she...actually relieved that he hadn't run off?

Inuyasha shrugged. "I almost did, but then I realized it would be more fun to torment you, seeing how you love ramen so much." With a wicked grin, he lifted his chopsticks and began to nosily slurp his ramen like some kind of super-powered vacuum. "Bamn, shis suff is awthesome..." He managed to say around a mouthful of food.

"Agh! You are so disgusting!" Kagome cried, her annoyance with him back full force. What had she been thinking a few moments ago? Surely it had just been a momentary lapse of sanity on her part because there was no way that she was permanently crazy enough to actually want his company the rest of the time!

Feeling ill with the intentionally nasty display that Inuyasha was putting on with his food solely for her benefit, Kagome decided to abandon her own. Her churning stomach just couldn't take it anymore.

"Oi! Where are you going?" Inuyasha called after her as she stood up and walked down the street. She ignored him, but he was undeterred and followed her after tossing his empty ramen container and chopsticks.

Stupid girl, what was her problem anyway? Did she want him around, or not? One minute she'd seemed upset that he'd left, and the next she was angry and trying to get away from him as fast as she could. Was it that PMS thing that women always whispered about but would never explain? Inuyasha shook his head as he followed her, baffled.

'Well,' He reluctantly admitted to himself. 'I must be as crazy as she is to have come back in the first place. Dunno why I did, but it couldn't have been because I was in my right mind.' He scowled fiercely at the girl's back as he tried to figure out where she might be going. It wasn't her home, because she was going in the opposite direction. So what was she up to? 'You don't know where she's going, yet you are still following her like some kind of lovesick puppy.' His mind taunted him.

"I'm just curious, that's all!" Inuyasha snapped in response, feeling more than a little put out that she had already driven him to talking to himself. How much worse were things going to get?

Deciding he'd had enough of being ignored, Inuyasha broke into a trot and caught up with Kagome just as she was turning into a small park where children were happily playing. He looked around in confusion, wondering why she'd gone there of all places.

"Well?" She asked him, an expectant expression on her face.

"Well, what?" He responded. "What'd you come here for?"

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Kagome patiently explained in a voice that made him feel like he was a dense little kid. "I thought you might like to go somewhere a little more on your level, since you keep acting like an immature, bratty little kid." She suddenly grinned. "Now don't you feel more at home here than with the adults?"

Inuyasha was so ticked off that he couldn't even formulate a proper response. How DARE she mock him like that?!

"Now that I'm done babysitting, I think I'll head home now." Her grin melted into an icy glare. "And if I EVER see you again, it'll be too soon! Have a nice life, dog-boy!"

Kagome walked away with her mind shouting gleefully and practically doing a jig in her head. 'I'm free of him! I'm free of him! Good-bye forever to blind date number three!'

Behind her, Kagome heard him shout. "Like I ever want to see you again, either, Bi-" There was a pause as Inuyasha remembered that he was surrounded by a bunch of children and their potentially dangerous parents. "Woman!"

Kagome giggled and kept on walking.

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A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters ever, hands down! I've never attempted to write so much vicious bickering, and I had a ball doing it! I have to say that I'm particularly proud of the mantis comparison. That really does sum up Inuyasha's relationships with women, LOL...and a note about the food just in case you are wondering. I know okonomiyaki isn't a food used in the series, but I was trying to come up with another food that was sold a little more casually in an outside environment like that. I might be wrong, but hey, artistic license! In the end I actually picked it as a small nod to the Ranma series since it is by the same author.

Anyway, I hope you guys loved this chapter as much as I do! Review, and hopefully you'll inspire me to get the next chapter out soon, since things aren't looking too good for our favorite couple. Until then!


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